Being Comfortable with who you are!

I had Stacey (my daughter) and her boyfriend visit the other night, with one of their friends.  We got on to the subject of loving yourself and I thought how long it took me to fully understand what that means.

I consider myself a ‘nobody’, I learn and apply what I learn and aim to do everything I learn effectively and make it succeed, but even when I complete my chosen task, when I look at me I am a ‘nobody’ and I’m happy with that.  I don’t mean this to be negative, but looking more deeply as to who I am and being comfortable with who I am.

Let me explain when I was with my first husband, I got seriously depressed due to the abusive relationship that I had gotten into.  This left me underweight and having a nervous breakdown at the age of 24, with two young children to care for after leaving my husband.

At that time I though I was fat, I was only a size 12 (UK sizes), but thought I was as big as I am today, yet when people spoke with me they thought I was a size 10. I’m 5’9″ so in reality a size 10 was skinny. At a sleek size 12 I wasn’t comfortable with myself, mainly due to the life I’d been exposed to.

So how does one come to love themselves? I’ve searched many articles over the years and reached my own comfort zone, but when I see people walking around, there’s just that look on their faces that says ‘I want to be invisible’.

I’m not a guru or specialist in any way or form when it comes to relationships, but learning over the years to look at myself in a different light has taught me much!

There are 10 little questions opposite, before asking them, first go to a mirror and ‘Smile’ even if you don’t feel like it right now. This is a good starting point to really look deep inside yourself, the mirror will tell you many things.

Being comfortable with who I am has made me realised we should all be no-bodies, we all have an equal right to live and be at peace with ourselves and nobody should take that away from us. When a person thinks they are a somebody, they tend to put down those more inclined to feel bad about themselves, make them feel inferior because they know more that the other person. This can be done on purpose or without thought, with words or body language, the results are generally the same a feeling of worthlessness and not good enough.

We can all have a sense of worth, by looking truthfully at ourselves, but to start this can be difficult. If you do start, then you will take a step forward in being ‘Comfortable with who you are’.

Darrell age 7 & Me

10 Questions to ask yourself!

  • What do I hate about my hands?
  • What do I hate about my face?
  • What do I hate about my body?
  • What do I hate about me?
  • Do I hate me because something bad has happened to me?
  • Do I like anything about me? My eye colour, my smile?
  • Do I treat others with respect?
  • Do I want to have respect?
  • Do I want to love others fully?
  • Do I want to love myself?

I hope you can give positive answers to these questions, but if not, then always remember that somewhere there is a friend waiting for you, to help you come to understand the way to become comfortable with who you are. For you to see this though you need to first start to smile at yourself, I know it may seem daft, but it is a good start to make. A forced smile releases endorphins which helps lift a persons mood, helping you to see yourself in a different light.

Stacey Took this one

Keep smiling


About Melanie Hetfield

Horse Whisperer. Remedial Horse Trainer. Horse Rescue. Freelance Instructor. Barefoot Trimmer. Horse Communicator.

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